


The Assistant: Double Duty Addiction

by RainbowMoonstoner



Category: Gravity Falls, Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gay Sex, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 21:13:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9257462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowMoonstoner/pseuds/RainbowMoonstoner
Summary: 18+ for sex, drugs and alcohol.1st POVYou are Steven.The twins hire you as their personal assistant, knowing full well that you are a Crystal Gem. Clearly they have taken a liking to you and both wish to study you.Enjoy your new job!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any errors. This was whipped up in a day, and I just sorta re-read it now.
> 
> Steven has his mother's long hair.
> 
> Ported over from WattPad

18+

Random ship I came up with and someone supported it. Thank you!

Dedicated to Mooneyes1690 on Wattpad.

StanleyXStevenXStanford

Yes. I made Steven a stoner. Ooo no. What ever shall you do? ;)

\---

Relationships. 

They are hard. 

Sometimes they go the way you would like, or think them to go. Other times... Well let us just say that other times, they try to beat the odds and just fail miserably.

Like last night. My boyfriend's last night with me for a week or two... And I wanted to go to a movie. But no... Instead I get to view a choppy stream of a poor quality video while he played online games... With other people.

Bed time rolls around and I hint that I would like to cuddle, and for him to come to bed. Alas, he stays up way past his bed time to play, until I am already asleep. I wake up the next morning feeling pretty down. I feel like I am not important any more. It probably is not the case, but actions speak louder then words...

And the actions keep repeating themselves. Night after night.

Sometimes I would feel utterly alone. I could spend most nights just laying in my bed, a cold void where he should be, but was not. Even expressing my feelings to him was a waste of time now. He would always turn it back on me, as I became an inconvenient truth to him. He would always act like I was the bad guy, like I wanted to start a fight, so most of the time I would just drop the subject, apologizing for my courage to speak up about how I felt. On how I was being treated, or rather, lack there of. Morning came and tugged me from my slumber. It was mostly a haze of black until the morning's light shone in through the blinds, like vertical daggers to my eyes. Laying there did not help the predicament that I was in. I was warm and I had to pee. Rolling over, I sighed sadly, finding that yet again, he was not there. I grunted in frustration before holding back a tear.

I got up, quickly checking the time to see it was an hour after his flight. I had a shower, got dressed in lazy clothes and sat down at my computer to check my emails. I was hoping any of the applications that I had sent out the previous day would have a reply. So far nothing good was coming up. Sure, I had an email from my father, which was rare for him as he was not a very technological sound. There were three from Pearl, but those were often, and normal for her. There was even one from Peridot and Lapis. Other then that, my inbox was filled with junk mail and free coupons.

I felt angry and discouraged. It had been three weeks of looking for work, and every day seemed even more hopeless then before. I did not even have support from my boyfriend on that matter either. He had become tired of handing me money and refused to pay for anything more then rent, bills, and basic daily needs. Sure we had lots of food, but my clothing was old and worn, while his were expensive sports brands. He would spend a lot of his extra money on video games in general, while I would be scolded for buying a five dollar second hand jacket at a thrift store to warm up. His computer was pristine and brand new looking...

And mine...

Well it was missing buttons. Buttons he broke, and promised to fix, but never did. Angry, I stood and went to the kitchen to throw the fridge door open with a scowl. I was thirsty and needed a drink. Grabbing one of his beers, I slammed the door and marched back over to my laptop. If he was gone again for two weeks, I had plenty of time to replace it.

I hit the refresh button and skimmed the postings again. A new listing was sitting there, posted two minuets ago. I smiled, maybe a bit overly enthusiastic about it, as I clicked away and was presented with a short job description:

\---

Looking for a personal assistant:

Must enjoy traveling. In or out of country.  
Must be techno-savvy. Knowing how to operate a tablet or smart phone, preferably Android.   
Must be good with money.  
Must be able to do online, or in person shopping for both the company, and company heads.  
Must enjoy pigs and bright colours.   
Must be able to handle dry and witty humor.

But most importantly...

Must have a very basic understanding of physics, but be open to breaking them.

Being knowledgeable to the more spiritual or super natural side of things is an asset, but not required.

S. & S. Pines.

Naughty Pines Co.

\---

I quickly replied to the ad, sitting back for a moment as I listened to the radio. The soothing old school swing jazz had lifted my mood a little, allowing me to enjoy my beer. Hitting refresh again, the posting was gone. It simply had vanished.

Was I crazy..?

About half way into the old classic song, my phone dinged, signaling to me that I had an email.

When I opened it, the sender was one I did not recognize, but my resume was in the message like it had be forwarded along. I read the words, a little confused in how short the email was.

\---

SSPinesSquared@NPCo.com wrote:

'Are you home?'

Reply to sender.

\---

I was shocked to see such a quick reply. I picked up my phone and went out the back door that faced an ally at the back of my boyfriend's house, watching my breath waft away at the low temperature. My skin wasn't pleased at the cold, half fall, half winter air. I lit a joint as I sat down under my small mesh gazebo tent and decided to reply. With a deep inhale, I began my message.

'Yes, I most certainly am. Why do you ask?'

I hit send and waited. Taking a few more tokes, I saw a beautiful flashy green Tesla Model S slowly creep up the ally. I sort of shrunk myself back a bit, giving the black windows an odd look. The car seemed to slow as it got to my gate and I watched as the window rolled down. A brown haired man with glasses was looking down at something with largely animated hands. It was obvious that he was flustered. The driver was staring directly at me, tapping his companion furiously while pointing at me. The one in the passenger seat apologized as he waved over at me to come over.

"Hey, um, excuse me... Do you know where this address is?" He said, sounding slightly nervous as he tried to pass me the paper it was written on. I only managed to grab a glimpse of the top corner and a small bit from the middle. The driver snatched it up before it was gone from my vision, and he waved his hand at him.  
Was... Was that a copy of my resume?

"I told you, I know exactly where we are going. We don't need to ask for directions!" The driver said, and it was by now that I had noticed they looked extremely similar. So similar, that they must be twins. The passenger sighed, and replied to the more agitated of the two.

"Then explain to me where we are then?!" He shouted as his twin simply pointed right at me for the final time. His brother got a confused look for a moment before he realized the GPS was correct. They had arrived at their destination.

"Sorry about that, toots..." I heard the driver call out as he got out of the car. Did he just call me, 'toots'? He knows I am a guy, right? Maybe it was my hair. I had been wearing it longer like my parents. And it was kinda of curly... The driver's face was much rougher then his brother's, a thick, bushy beard fully grown on his mug. The clean shaven one decided to get out of the car as well, and sniffed the air, giving his twin an odd look.

"Oooo... What are ya smoking?" Beardie asked, eyeing up the chonger hanging from the corner of my mouth. He smiled as his brother came over to sit on the railing of my deck. Both of their eyes seemed to stare right into my core, and it made me feel rather uncomfortable. Mostly because I was not very presentable, not having gotten ready for the day yet.

"... Weed... Excuse me, but who are you guys?" I said with a hint of annoyance in my voice. The rougher one in the red plaid jacket simply laughed loudly as he leaned in real close to my face. He gave me a wink and stole my joint before he giggled at me with a victorious puff. His brother seemed less then amused as he cleared his throat and put his hand out for me to shake.

"Stanford Pines. This asshat here, is my twin, Stanley Pines." He gestured to himself, then his brother. I blinked a few times before I looked down to my phone. It was the same name on the email.

Sort of.

"Why are you at my house..? I literally just found the ad, and sent that email less then twenty minutes ago." I asked cautiously. I had heard of horror stories of new age job interviews going bad. I hope that this was not the case. Stanley just kept staring at me with this unsettling sexualized look as he puffed away on my joint.

"Oh, isn't it obvious, sugar?" Stanley chuckled. Again with the weird feminine nick names. His eyes kept staring at my exposed shoulders and brightly coloured hair. I had changed some of the brown to be pink strips hidden in with the mass of brown curls. Ford cleared his throat and held his hand up for me to shake it.

I shook his brother's hand, all be it quite awkwardly. I felt odd because of his brothers seemingly lecherous stare. I felt odd because of their overly quick response time. I felt odd because their ad was only up for mere moments before it was gone. I felt odd because their were six digits in my hand. I felt odd because I tried not to stare, but 

I failed.

"Oh, sorry if that grosses you out..." Stanford said as he scratched his neck nervously. While jamming his other hand into his coat pocket. I laughed, which caused him to turn pink as I spoke.

"No no no. That is fine. I am sure your parents had an easy time telling you two apart." As I finished, Stanley had handed me back my now roach sized joint. I glared at him, and he put his hands up in apology. He reached into his jacket, a crisp crinkling of a plastic bag could be heard as he pulled out a sandwich bag of bud. He tossed it at me with another wink, this time licking his lips as I caught the bag.

"Let's cut to the chase, doll face. Interview time starts now, sweets." Stanley bellowed as nudged his twin while clearing his throat. Stanford quickly handed me a pack of papers and some scissors. I looked at the tools they had just given me and frowned.

"What the hell is this? These are terrible papers, man. And these scissors... Is this a joke?" I complained as I held up the gunky dull scissors by one of the loops with my left hand, and the shitty papers with no proper adhesive in the other. Stanley burst out laughing as Ford gawked at my outburst. I suppose he was not expecting it.  
I reached for the tray on the table and fixed up a rather nice joint in under a minute. I used a nice clean grinder, so it felt new, and I used my favorite brand of papers. Intrigued, Stanley held out hand for me to pass it to him. He inspected it thoroughly before handing it to Stanford.

"First test seems like a pass. Wha d'ya think, sixer?" Stanley said to Stanford as took the joint back to light it. We smoked the entire thing, but it took a good five minutes to do so. Stanford seemed to be a lightweight, already done with smoking for now. Stanley on the other hand, seemed ready for more.

"I think he passes the first round. Ok second test. Roll ten more please." Stanford requested politely. He seemed to get that I was a guy, yet when he mentioned it, Stanley seemed unphased. I sighed and did as I was asked, but it took a while. When I was done, each one was inspected just as carefully as the first, and then put into a cigarette pack.

"Second test... Pass. Looking great there, toots. Now... The third test. You have to come with us for a drive." Stanley stated, still using the same pet names. He looked me up and down and back at his twin.

"You have ten minuets to get dressed and grab your things for the day. Pay will be 500 bucks just for today to hear our offer." Stanford said. I stared blankly at him before Stanley opened his mouth.

"9 minuets, sugar." Stanley snapped at me. I straightened up and turned around, running into the house. I ran through the kitchen, grabbing a bag and stuffing a few snacks inside. I got to my room and swiped a back back, stuffing it with odds and ends. When it was full, I quickly changed into jeans and a brightly coloured long sleeve tee. I grabbed a hoodie and a leather jacket and traded my slippers for sneakers. I slipped out the door and came to catch my breath in front of the two brothers, huffing harshly.

"Wow, you still had like three minuets there." Stanford said while looking at his watch as he turned away from me and went towards the car. Stanley placed his hand out for me as if to shake it, but curled his fingers with my own as he turned away and dragged me with him. I blushed and looked down to my feet as he opened the door for me.

I got into the back as Stanley went over to the driver's side and got in. He started the car and we left. We drove for a while and went through a drive through for coffee and snacks. The music they were playing was nice and up beat.

"So... Steven is it?" Stanford said as he turned in his to face me. I nodded and smiled nervously as we appeared to be leaving Beach City. I twisted the sleeves of my bright red hoody and nodded.

"Yes..?" I asked and he turned to look down at my resume again. I noticed there were pictures of my family, the Crystal Gems. He cleared his throat and looked back at me.

"Why do you think you would be a good fit for our company, young man?" I blinked and thought about it long and hard.

"I honestly do not even know what your company does. I just wanted to a job to help pay some bills and..."

"Who the fuck would make a great hero such as yourself pay bills?" Stanley spat as he motioned one hand to the papers in his brother's lap. That was first time I heard him use a masculine pronoun for me. I blushed and looked away. I did not realise the things I did with my family made me unintentionally famous.

"I... I just wanted to feel more normal. To be accepted by my boyfriend. You know... So I am not a free loader...?" I said with a heavily and sad sigh. I saw Ford's hand some to rest on my knee and I closed my eyes to hide the tears that were trying to spill out. He gave it a tender squeeze and hushed me.

"Well ok. It was not really a work related question any ways. We just wanted to know why you even need to. You are pretty famous, so when Stanley said he was almost certain it was you who applied for the job, I removed the ad immediately." Stanford paused and took a moment to read my face. I was stunned and had nothing to say in return, so he continued.

"I will be perfectly honest with you, Steven, I am a paranormal scientist. I want to study you, and and the Crystal Gems. My brother and I moved out to a farm close to Beach City with the prospect of meeting you, or your family." As he finished, I noticed we had stopped moving and had arrived at an old farm. There was a large blue barn, blue garage and a matching blue Ranch style home. When I got out of the car I smelled the air. Everything smelled new and fresh and crisp.

"I am not a scientist. I am just his wallet so he can research what ever he wants. I spend my free time at local fighting rings." Stanley said as he lit up a smoke and helped me out of the car. His fingers lingered in mine again, and he gave me the warmest smile I had ever seen before promptly taking my luggage.

"Hope ya don't mind, sweets." He said and motioned for me to follow him and his brother into the house. I was not sure if I minded yet. The fact this guy was going to be my boss and the fact he kept clearly hitting on me...

It was like playing with fire.

\---

Booop beeep baaap.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven gets emotional.

I was a little nervous as they sat me down in the kitchen and went over basic things. Things that I would be required to do. It was a long list, but it essentially was exactly what was on the resume, so I figured I would be good. There was a pause in the conversation as the two brothers discussed things quietly to one another, so I checked my phone to see that I had some messages.

The first one was from my best friend, inviting me to her wedding. It clearly stated I was not allowed to bring my boyfriend after what had happened at Halloween. I totally understand that. He is not the nicest guy in the world... Or smart when it came to basic people skills. Or sane when drunk. I sent a quick reply, thanking her for the invite, followed quickly with news that I was currently sitting in some weird interview with two guys that needed a personal assistant. And that they required said assistant to go find Steven Universe. To become friends with him, and to make observations for them. Sure. That sounds waaaay more creepy then what I first thought. I mean, what are the odds that the subject applies for the observer's job?

Probably about a gazillion to one.

"So, now that the formalities are over with the job aspect..." Ford said carefully, trying not to startle me from looking at my phone. I gave him my full attention, setting the device aside as he coughed while eyeing me up in an entirely different way then his twin had. He hummed, bringing a hand to his chin as he thought long and hard on what to say next.

"Um... You mentioned earlier that you would like to study me..? That won't hurt, or will it?" I asked, slightly afraid of what he wanted. Or what sort of tests he would have for me. Carefully, the six digited man walked around me, humming a hawing, while Stanley just sat at the table, calmly rolling up a few doobies with a cigarette hanging from his grizzly mug. How he was not burning that bushy beard was entirely beyond me. I mean, I caught my dad smoking a few joints a few times, each time he left a singed mark behind as evidence.

"Yes... I did mention that. I hope it doesn't seem rude or weird of me... And no it will not hurt for the most part. If you are clumsy, you might get hurt, but from what I have heard, you're quite the opposite." He continued, and brought out a fancy looking note book. My eyes went wide in awe as I leaned down to look at the expertly crafted cover. It was artistically enhanced with an outline of Ford's hand. It was outlined in black, then filled with gold against a dark blue denim background.

"Kinda, but it doesn't really bother me. I totally understand. Pearl, she is like my second mom, she helped raise me with two other Gems. She loves studying things, me being one of them when I discover something new about myself... Oh, and nice book..." I said as I opened it past the first few pages. I saw a full page, hand-drawn picture of myself, from when I was 16 or 17, fighting off some corrupted gems in Australia. The picture it self was based on an actual photo a local news station had taken of me on top of a cliff at night with a beautiful clear and starry night. You couldn't really see the aura borealis very clearly in the real photo, but it been drawn beautifully just the way I remembered it.

Ah yes... That was when I started wearing my hair longer, but before I started keeping it tied back. The page beside it had a short hand written biography on me as well. I was definitely amazed at the detail of everything. Nothing computerized about it. It was simply beautiful in it's traditional art form.

"This is such a nicely done book. I will admit, it is a little creepy, as it is clearly a book about me. It is missing a lot of details I see... Did you have anything to ask?" I said in a little bit more of a cheerful tone. My phone dinged again, but I ignored it as I waited for Ford to think about it.

"Well... From some eye witness accounts, you can make weapons appear out of thin air..?" He suggested and I laughed. That one was super easy.

"Yes. It is more like materializing my own power in my gem and drawing it forth as a physical manifestation of my mind. So, yes. I most certainly can! But uh, I would suggest going outside first." I chuckled, and Stanley got up to go out the front door. I grabbed a box cream puffs from one of my bags, and stuffed it into my hoodie pocket before I followed him and his brother outside, until we were standing in a field of overly grown weeds and grass.

Taking that as a hint, I made them stay clear as I summoned my shield. The beautiful shimmering light was something both Ford and Stanley instantly felt drawn to, their eyes seemed to reflect the light like a child's as the light summoned a large round shield with roses and thorns. I smiled to them both, spinning it flatly on one finger with the aid of my thumb, before I threw it into the air. Their eyes darted to follow it as it hovered about three feet above my head, where the disk remained spinning at a fast rate. The disk's speed made a hollow whistling sound until it dropped out of the air and back into my hand on it's side. This time, I flicked it with the other hand, and did some cheap palour tricks one would do with a top hat. I was just having some good fun with it. When I was finished, I was rewarded with clapping from both twins.

My other hand came to my lips, licking them in preparation, and I whistled very loudly. The sound was shrill, almost other worldly, as the plants around me seemed to move with the sound waves of my voice. I saw both of them cover their ears for a moment, then paused.

Silence entered the small area as the echo carried far away. Ford looked around confused, wondering where the sword was supposed to come from. Stanley showed more patience as he puffed away on something, watching me, and not the area around us. That some what made me feel uncomfortable. Somewhat. I also kind of felt a bit... Happy. Here there was, two people, genuinely intrigued with me. Interested in who, and what I am. I felt wanted again. I also felt the need to impress them, feeding off the encouragement they gave me.

In a moment, a soft thudding could be heard off in the distance among the rustling of grass. A loud wild roar was heard piercing the area, and a large pastel pink lion came barging into the area in front of the twins. There, Lion glared with glowing yellow eyes towards the two men, before he began to lick his paws once discovering that there was no threat in the area.

"Hey buddy! Thank you for coming so quickly! Who is a good Lion?!" I brought out the box of cream puffs, and flipped the top open with my thumb before putting it on the ground for him to eat. The large cat happily dropped down to lay with his face stuffed into the little box as he ate the contents. Over the years, Lion had taken a liking to me so much, he actually would take orders from me instead of giving me a big shovel full of cat attitude. It was nice, even if most of the time I had to produce a treat. Sometimes I would call him just to snuggled up, and have a nap in the forest. I dropped to my knees as I mimicked his deep purring. When I wrapped my arms around his fluffy neck, he purred loudly. It was fun smooshing my face into his maine to inhale his weird strawberry rose smell. It was great.

"Holyfuck." Stanley gasped, the joint barely clinging to his wide open mouth as he stood. Both hands shot up to each side of his forehead to grasp at his brown hair in surprise. He looked thoroughly shocked and amazed.

"Holyshitballs." Ford cried as he jumped up and down while pointing at my Lion. I did not realise how thrilling it was to people to meet a magical pink lion outside of Beach City. I shrugged and allowed the two grown men to have their moment.

"Do ya wanna pet him first? Cause once I pull out that sword, he is going to run off right after. He won't bite, I promise." I said, genuinely thrilled to share my special kitty with them. Stan was the first to come over, putting the now unlit joint away in his pocket. He sat right down, and looked Lion in the face, nose to nose. Lion just stared at him for a while with an unimpressed look. Stan bonked his forehead into his, and Lion gave him a shocked look. Lion snorted before giving him a large slobbery lick to the front of his face and glasses, knocking them sideways on Stan's face. I saw Stan's back go rigid as a shiver rocked through him. He made some sort of high pitched noise as he suddenly hugged the large cat, which frankly surprised everyone with his boldness. With a snuggle and scratch to the ear, Stan had Lion melting in hands. When Lion flipped over to his back, Stan laughed as Lion began to purr heartily. He rewarded the large beast with loving touches.

"You have no idea how fucking happy this shit right here makes me! I fucking love cats!" He said overly excited as he did what I did, put his face into Lion's maine after setting his glasses onto the top of his head. I watched as Stan's eyes closed in innocent bliss, smelling Lion's fur.

"Why does he smell like candy?" He asked, a little puzzled, as Ford finally calmed down enough to come over and sit with his brother. He cautiously reached his hand out for Lion to smell it, receiving a lick and a nibble. Delighted, Ford gently ran his fingers through his maine and complimented the beast.

"You are just so damn cute, and yet I bet you could rip my face off if you wanted to..." Ford chuckled as Lion gave him a mischievous grin, barring his teeth at him. It was as if he fully understood his words and was saying 'I sure can, buddy.'

After a few moments, I could tell Lion was getting bored, so I sat down and motioned for the men to watch closely. In another quick moment, my hand disappeared into Lion's maine with a white glow, and came back out again, drawing a sword from inside the tiny pocket dimension within. Ford's eyes were wide in amazement, as were Stanley's.

"Now that... That is fucking bad... Ass. You have a magical pet lion... That stores stuff too?" Stanley said in awe. I smiled a bit, feeling special for once in a long time.

"Amazing!" Ford gasped. He smiled and that was when Lion stirred to get up, noticing a flock of ducks near by. I hushed him, and put the sword back quickly so he could make his escape. I laughed a little as he ran off to chase them, probably hoping for a nice quick lunch.

"So... Yeah. I summon my shield here at will. That is my true weapon. That sword was hand crafted many years ago for my mother by... By a Gem blacksmith who is no longer with us. The shield is a part of me, where as the sword is not." I said simply, as a long spiral of brown hair had fallen into my face. I blew at it and Stan laughed, moving the piece of hair back into place. I blushed hard, that I could tell. I could see my reflection in his glasses, and beyond that, a tender look in those light brown eyes of his. Ford noticed the look he was giving me and patted Stanley's back to draw his attention away as they went back into the farm house. I put my shield away, closely following the twins.

"So, Steven... Would you like the job?" Ford asked as Stanley went into his wallet to dig out the 500$ that was promised. I sat and thought about it while staring at my phone.

"One moment..." Picking up the phone, I glanced to see another text from Connie and one my boyfriend. I asked Connie on her thoughts on whether or not I should take the job. She sent a quick resounding yes, but only under the condition of having a photo taken of the three. I smiled at her request, then checked the ones from my boyfriend. And I frowned. There was four messages from him. Well three, one was just an angry face. Each one held no love or concern for me, or my world. There were no hellos or good mornings, just an onslaught of demands.

"Steven. The bills are due in three days. I still am short for rent. Have you got a job yet?"

"It has been like half an hour and you have not fucking replied. Don't you care about my feelings, and my needs?!"

"You can not be bothered to answer the phone. I better see some cash transfers pop up soon. I am broke because of you, and you are fucking expensive."

Sure as shit there were three missed calls from him. I felt a little deflated...

Like literally crushed.

I paused for a moment, my face had turned to steel as I looked Ford in the eyes, then over at Stanley and nodded. Stanley seemed rather happy about my answer, and handed me the promised cash. I smiled as best as possible, pocketing the cash and excusing myself for a bathroom break. I did not catch the worried glance from Stanley, fully unaware he saw through my facade.

I held my composure until I made it into the room, coming to sit on the side of an old claw foot tub, and grabbing a towel from the rack to hug. My thumb hovered over return call button, but then it started to ring. I was startled a little bit, not expecting the picture of my boyfriend's face to just pop up. I answered and instantly regretted it.

He was drunk.

I winced, pulling the phone away from my ear as he shrieked into his end of the phone. He was making impossible demands again because of his own poor choices. He claimed it was my fault he was spending his money to get drunk, claiming he was worried. I think it was an excuse.

I lost it.

"Now you listen here, Roy, it not my fault you are sitting in a bar right now, getting piss drunk. Don't you blame me for your addiction!" I raised my voice a little, and I felt terrible, but it needed to be said. I heard a scoff on the other side and could clearly hear someone else in the background. Did that guy say something about drugs?

"Are you doing drugs again?!" I asked, angry lacing my voice, but mostly hurt. I heard a long pause and Roy's companion decided to pipe up again, causing Roy to shush the person harshly.

"Is this why you are bothering me? To get a job to pay for my expensive ass? Yeah fucking right, Roy. Sounds like you sniffed the rent up your nose again!" I said full of rage. He was the only thing that got me angry. Even villainous Gems did not hit that button, but Roy sure did. I heard him laugh and the guy with him said something nasty that I barely could catch. I grit my teeth as Roy pretty much tried to switch topics back to job hunting.

"No, you listen here. I should not need a job. Ever. I am not a fucking human. I am a Crystal Gem. My job is protecting this city and the whole freaking world. If it wasn't, then we would not have even have met each in other in the first place, you selfish asshat! No... You would be a dead fucking body at the bottom of the cove if it wasn't for me! I have had it, Roy. We are fucking done! I deserve better then this!" I hung up the phone by throwing it at the wall. I was so upset, my emotions and body felt like everything was on fire. My skin was glowing pink, and the mirror showed me that my eyes were now a pupiless mass, a hot white nothing replaced the dark black orbs that were there just a mere moment before.

I had heated the phone up to the point of exploding. When I threw it, making an impact with the drywall, it fizzled and crunched, sending tiny smoking pieces everywhere in the large bathroom. I stared angrily at the smoking hole for a moment, hearing the door slowly creak open. My breathing was heavy and ragged, and my eyes were stinging with the build up salty tears. I turned my head to face who it was, seeing Stan there with a concerned look.

"Steven... Are you ok..?"

\---

Dun dun dun.

Second chapter done.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Since I selfishly made the twins so young, the younger twins shall be their niece and nephew, forgoing the great part. Oh and Steven is 7'5" feet tall. I tried and tried to find how tall the twins are, but all I can find is Fiddleford's height of 5'11" and they look taller then him so... 6'6"?

"Steven... Are you ok..?" I heard Stanley's voice cautiously ask as he stepped into the bathroom. He gave me a concerned look after he observed the hole in the wall that still had traces of burning embers along the edges of the impact point. I gave him a pained expression, then twisted it into a cruel smile.

"No. Now I need to go get a new fucking phone. And I promised my best friend a picture of you guys." I said, my voice filled with bitterness. Stan carefully assessed the situation before he opened his mouth to speak.

"I, uh, well... If it helps, the job comes with a brand new phone..." As he trailed off, tears began to spill down my cheeks. Stanley was taken back, now utterly unsure as to what to say next. It was not about the phone and he knew it. He nervously ran a hand through his hair and thought for a moment, causally saying something soothing. 

Or so he hoped.

"Do... Do ya need hug, or something?" Stanley suggested, and I did not know what else to do. My world was crushed. I took a few step towards him, closing the gap between us, and I closed my eyes as a sob threatened to tear through my lips. It happened so fast, that there was no stopping it. My arms wrapped around his torso, while my face rested on his shoulder, making Stanley absolutely still for a moment.

And I cried. I fucking cried hard.

He slowly wrapped an arm around my waist, and rested his hand on the small of my back. At the same time, his other hand came to hug me tightly, with his forearm resting across my shoulder blades, his hand resting on the back of my head as I wept. I felt a small percentage better with his comforting embrace. It was more then I was used recently, and boy did I sure need it. He patted my back a few times, and just held me until I heard the rustling of foot steps down the hall. His twin was approaching the room quickly. I could faintly hear a knock at the door as Ford poked his head in. Shocked, he stepped into the room with a slack-jawed stare.

"What happened?!" Ford questioned with deep look of worry. I hid my face from his view as he tried to stick his whole fist through the hole in the wall. The hole I had just caused. Now I felt ten times worse.

"I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean to, I was just s-so upset..." I started weakly, but Ford's smiling face eased the pain some what as he cheerfully measured the burnt opening. 

He seemed overly excited about the 'hole' thing.

"You did this? How fascinating!" He pondered with a hint of wonder in his voice, while looking at the remains of the phone that littered the room. I slowly detached myself from Stanley's grip, and wiped the mess of emotions away with a tissue that he had graciously handed to me. Ford chuckled a little, dismissing the damage with a wave of his hand as he turned on his heels to leave the room.

"I am sure it can be dealt with later. Come on over, and have a sit. I am sure Stanley will be happy to smoke one with you." He said as he made his way back to the kitchen, with us hot on his trail.

~*~

A little while later, once I had consumed enough for a decent high, which was about three times more then the two could handle, we were walking back outside, at my request. I was getting quite hungry, and the snacks I had packed were not going to be enough. When I looked at the field we were in earlier, I saw that Lion was passed out in bed of feathers. I laughed a little, scanning the area. My laugh slowly died away, as I looked around. The landscape told me where I was, as I some what recognized the area. That was when I realized this farm was right beside Lapis and Peridot's. It was literally separated by a small mass of trees and two fields.

"Uh, guys... How long have you lived here and not met the neighbors?" I asked, and Stanley laughed hysterically.

"What..?" I asked, bewildered as to why he was laughing. Were these people that secretive?

"I am sorry for his out burst, Steven. We only just moved in a week ago. We are currently trying to hold off on unpacking too much. Well, at least until our niece and nephew arrive to choose their respective rooms out of the five in total. Why, are the neighbors bad?" Ford asked a little bit puzzled as he looked over in the general direction that I was facing.

"We were never one for announcing our arrival to a new city. So why? Do you know who lives there?" Stanley said as he leaned against the car, pointing to the neighboring farm.

"I sure do." I said mockingly as I walked away from the car and down the road to the next driveway.

"Come along, then!" I yelled, knowing that Lapis and Perry would be happy to see me, and to meet their new neighbors. Plus it would be a great opportunity for me to borrow Perry's phone, and snap a shot for Connie. Stanley nodded and followed quickly, Ford coming up close on his heels. It was not a long walk, it only took about seven minuets to walk down the road, up their driveway, and around the tiny farm house to the back where a large red barn was. It was heavily modified, and very artsy looking. It was so covered in weird things like car parts, rocks and things, that you could barely even see the original red paint. The two brothers were oddly silent as they looked around taking all the interesting pieces of 'art' in.

"Perrrrry~! Laaaaapis~!" I called out in an almost some sort of sing song tone. I heard some rustling on top of the barn, and cast my gaze in that direction. I could vaguely hear some arguing that stopped, followed by a loud duet of my name being called out in return.

"Steven!" And with that, I watched as Peridot slowly hovered downward on a flat metal disk, while Lapis gracefully landed with the aid of her wings. What Stan and Ford saw was definitely different.

To the two brunettes, what they saw was pure magic. The expression their faces held, was nothing short of amazement. They saw two feminine beings entirely different from Steven, some how get down to where he was so quickly, and unnaturally. Ford was trying to make his jaws work to speak, while Stanley simply took everything in like a child would at an amusement park for the first time. Their eyes seemed to sparkle in such an innocent way.

"Hey guys. It sure is nice to see you! How are you?" I greeted them as I towered over Peridot, Lapis not so much. I smiled with a lighter heart, and felt the previous woes of the day slip away as they told me of their latest art exhibit. I almost forgot that Ford and Stanley were standing by, patiently waiting for me to introduce them to my friends.

"Oh! I am so sorry, guys! This here is Peridot, but we call her Perry, and here is Lapis Lazuli." I nervously said as I motioned to my green friend first, then the blue one. Perry was dressed in an off the shoulder sweater and some baggy cargo shorts, complete with fancy looking biker boots. Lapis was dressed in a simple set of cover-alls, and a dirty paint stained t-shirt. I waved the boys over as Perry greeted Stan with a hearty hand shake, and then Ford.

"This one is Stanley. That one is Ford. These are your new neighbors next door. They are also my new bosses." I said to Perry. She seemed thrilled to meet these new people. Lapis just stood by with her arms crossed and nodded towards them in greeting, seemingly not caring too much about the situation.

"Yeah, hey." Lapis mumbled, pretty much giving the two a plain look.

"It is nice to meet you, bosses of Steven." Perry said with much enthusiasm before seeing that the two humans with me looked nearly identical.

"Oh my! That is very interesting! Steven! Why did you not inform me that humans can have identical variants like Gems?" She gleefully spoke as she walked around the pair, squinting with an inquisitive look. Ford was staring at her as well, thinking something along the lines of how different these two were in comparison to Steven. Stanley was now bored, pulling a joint from his pocket as he lit it, and walked up to inspect the art on the barn's surface.

"Well, uh, you never did ask... On earth we call a set of two identical people, 'twins'. Three would be 'triplets', and so forth as it is far more rare for humans then Gems to be the same." I said as I fidgeted with my hair absent mindedly. I eyed Perry's phone that she had clutched in her hand, to which she noticed right away.

"Is there something wrong, Steven?" She asked, trying to figure out exactly why I was giving her a hopeful look.

"No. Well yes. I got kinda angry... And set my phone on fire... And then threw it at a wall before it exploded everywhere-"

"You were angry? Steven, you don't get angry very often."

"Yeah, well... I broke up with Roy-"

"What?!" Lapis interrupted to say. She carefully looked me up and down for any emotion on my face. Tears threatened me yet again, but I took a deep breath, using all of my will power to smile. Placing my large hands on her shoulders, she nodded and gave me a tight hug, Perry deciding to do the same. When we parted, I looked at the little green Gem, and held my hand out.

"So... Perry... May I use your phone to call Connie?" Nodding, she gave me her device with out question, and I walked away, towards one of their corn fields. After the fourth ring, my best friend answered, very surprised.

"Hey, Connie. Yeah, this is Steven. Oh um. Ya. Broke my phone again. Yes the same way, and before you go on, I broke up with the miserable prick. Yes... That means I am single. Yes I know it was a dead end relationship. I know. I know we could not... Connie... Connie!" I paused after yelling her name, trying to get her to focus, and a small silence filled her end of the line.

"Ok, thanks, hun. I will send you a picture now. Hold on." By the time I had finished my sentence and hung up the phone, Stan had creeped up behind me. When I turned around, his face was twisted into a quizzical look. I jumped back, slightly surprised at his sudden closeness. His brother was right beside him, mirroring the same expression.

"What's up, buttercup?" Stan asked while Ford punched his arm for calling me 'buttercup'. It was funny... Every time Ford witnessed Stanley clearly hit on me, he would scold him in some form or manner, but never out right stop him from doing so.

"He wants to send a photo of us to his best friend, Stanley. Short memory, much?" Ford huffed, rolling his eyes as he shuffled his feet.

"I remember. I was just hoping to hear what the lady sounded like." He said with a sneer as he put Ford into a head lock, effectively knocking his glasses from his face.

"For fuck's sakes! Stop it, Stanley!" Ford struggled to get a proper hold on him, and was so far failing.

"Not until ya say, 'Uncle'!" Stanley laughed heartily as Perry and Lapis watched in amusement. I noticed Ford grin as his hands dug into his brother's jacket.

"Fuck you!" And with that, Ford had slipped out of his hold, flipping Stan onto his back, followed quickly by being pulled to the ground. They stopped fighting, and began to laugh wildly as Ford rolled off of him. He wiped his eyes before setting his glass right onto the bridge of his nose as he he sighed with content. Stanley just laid there, laughing weakly, having the wind knocked out of him. Perry and Lapis laughed a little too, probably being reminded of how the Rubies acted way back when. The whole time this was going on, I was snapping photos of the two, sending them off to Connie.

Soon the phone rang and when I answered, I was greeted with a loud and exciting shriek. I could barely understand her, so I requested for her to repeat herself. When she was finally understandable, I learned that the pair were apparently semi-famous in their end of the country for entirely different reasons.

"Stan. You are an international boxing champion?! And Ford, you're famous for a multitude of sciencey related things?" By the time I had spoke, the boys had stood, and were trying to remove the dirt from their clothes in a nervous fashion. It was Stanley who spoke up first.

"Yeah. I am pretty good at kicking the crap out of people. I know all sorts of other fighting styles too, and not just boxing, sugar. Ford is beyond smart. He has an eidetic memory." He said, smoothing his messy hair back, while his brother blushed with his hands stuffed into his pockets as he remained silent. Suddenly my stomach grumbled. Very loudly, might I add.

"Ok... Well have a good day, Connie, and I shall see you in three weeks for sure. Nope, I would not miss your wedding. Ok. Love ya, hun bye." I said my good byes to Connie, and handed the phone back to Perry.

"Well thanks guys, sorry to cut it short, but, I must go and find some food. My half human body demands greasy fry bits and burgers." I chuckled gently, and gave the two girls a hug, nearly crushing the two. I apologized, my stomach grumbling very loudly again. I sighed, rubbing my stomach. I smiled at the two Gems, giving them a farewell, as so did the Twins. We walked off to the side, and through the field towards their property to come out around front to their car.

Good Goddess, was I ever hungry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this chapter is finished. Took me a little bit. I know, I know. No sex yet. Bad writer. Hahaha. Next chapter, I promise. Thank you for reading.


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